Special Request Forms 1
by RA'AY'MOND
Summary: General Hammond and Walter, behind the sceanes at the SGC. Dr Jackson getting kids hooked on sugar? Col. O'Neill as a Boy Scout? Find out how Genral Hammond and Sgt. Walter Harriman make it all possible. Keep reading.


**Title: A Generals work is never done. 1/? **

**Special Request forms 1/3**

**Star Gate: SG1. **

**Author: Grant/Ra'Ay'Mond**

**Author's E-mal: (your feedback is welcomed)**

**Rating: K: for paper work**

**Category: Humor? A day at the office.**

**Spoilers: Working at the SGC.**

**Summary: Hammond, behind the scenes.**

**Authors note: I wanted to write something about Hammond. This is just a start. **

**While working it out in my head I keep coming up with Walter "never" being too far away from The General. So get used to seeing him around.**

**Disclaimer: ****The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.**

I do not own the rights to SG1 or any of their products. I am only a poor fan who NEVER wants the adventure to end.

**I would also like to say thanks to my Beta reader BOOMERCAT. Who helped make this a much more readable Fan Fiction. And in my down moments convinced me that a Fan Fiction can still be good with out a body count. **

**A Generals work is never done.**

General Hammond looks back toward the sergeant. as he returns to his office and says:

"Walter, we've gone over this about a million times. I can pour my own coffee.

"All I ask is that you let me know when you're going to make a fresh pot." "You do more than your fair share of work around here." "No need for me to add my coffee to your work load."

"Besides, you know what I always say "never give an order that you're not prepared to carry out your self.""

"Yes sir" sergeant Harriman. Replies from his desk.

General Hammond returns the salute he receives from the guard standing outside of his office door. He places his coffee mug on his Air Force coaster, after he takes a hot sip.

Then, he thinks to himself: that reminds me, we're running low on sweetener and non-dairy creamer. I'll have to ask Walter to have the commissary send some "down" before we run out completely.

He sits down in his chair behind his desk, and sighs to himself.

"Now the real work begins." He says to himself.

After about several seconds he has an uncomfortable feeling that he has forgotten something. Those special request forms. I must have left them on Sergeant Harriman's desk when I was getting my coffee and talking to him. I'll just call him and have him bring them in here before I forget to do them at all.

Just as the General reaches for the phone to have the sergeant return the forms to him. Walter enters the Generals doorway with a healthy looking sized folder, filled with the "missing" forms.

"I thought that you might be needing these sir, so I took the liberty of saving you a few steeps."

"Thank you Walter." The General replies.

"Oh Walter before I forget, can you please have the commissary… "

-"Send us some replacement sweetener and non-dairy creamer before we run out completely?" "Yes sir." "Already done sir." Walter finishes the Generals sentence for him.

"Walter. You're the best!" "What would I do without you?" the General ask his sergeant

"You would probable call me at home and have me find you a replacement, sir."

General Hammond opens his mouth. Thinking of several possible things to say and settles for "sergeant, your probable right."

"I'll be back at my desk if you need me sir."

"Sergeant, please stay a moment. I may need you to help explain some of these, _special request_."

The sergeant lifts an eye-brow and takes a seat. He answers "yes sir."

"Lets start with one of my personal favorites. I sure this one is guaranteed _not_ to be boring. Col. O'Neill. First name Jack."

"Twelve cases of extra large zip-lock water proof baggies."

"Reason: storage."

The General shakes his head gently as he says "Any idea why he needs so many of these things?" "Or, why he needs them at all?"

The sergeant responds "actually sir, I can answer that one for you."

"I remember over the course of the last month or so, the colonel was complaining to me about having trouble finding these baggies "any where" on base."

"It seems that some time ago on a mission to a rain soaked planet, he remembered using baggies to keep things in his back pack dry." "He did this while on hikes with his old Boy Scout Troop when he was a kid, back in Minnesota."

The General interrupts and ask "Excuse me Walter, but did you say that Col. O'Neill was a Boy Scout?"

"Apparently sir."

The General wonders if "Patrol Leader" Jack O'Neill was anything like "Col." Jack O'Neill."

"I'm sorry, please continue."

"This way if either him or his backpack were rained on or fell into a stream, the items in side the pack would remain dry."

"So he started using them again. This time on off world missions."

"According to the colonel, the other members of SG-1 laughed at him for using these things."

"Until they started using them themselves."

"Then one day a member of SG-3 saw Dr. Jackson placing one of his reference books in an extra large water-proof baggie to keep it clean and dry."

"Now _every_ SG team uses them." "Not to mention the inhabitants on a number of recently visited worlds who seem to request them whenever an SG team arrives."

"OK sergeant, I get the idea."

"_Approved_!"

"Anything, _within reason_ for my 2ndIC." The General says.

"And I must say that is a very creative use for these items that the colonel came up with."

The General pulls another set of _special request_ forms from his folder.

"And next on the list, Dr. Jackson, first name Daniel."

"One case of assorted chocolate bars, non-dairy preferred."

"One case of Instant coffee, caffeinated only please."

"One box of Frisbees. neon in color if possible."

"One case of hand balls, any color."

"Five cases of marbles, assorted colors."

"Reason: children, children, children, _slight_ caffeine addiction and all humans seem to love chocolate. Please read in reverse order."

The General re-reads the request form several times to himself. He squeezes his lips slightly, off to one side. He then turns to Sergeant Walter Harriman and says: "OK, I give up!"

"Walter, can you give me some insight as to what the good doctor means by: children, children, children, slight caffeine addiction and all humans seem to love chocolate?"

"Actually sir, I can help you with that one as well."

"As you well know sir, SG-1 is a first contact team." Sgt. Harriman tells his General.

"Yes." The General replies.

The Sgt. takes a deep breath and dives right in. "Well sir, part of the first contact process is to put the best face possible on the residents of Earth. And, the SGC in particular."

The General opens his mouth to talk, but Walter continues. "I'm getting there sir."

"Dr. Jackson mentioned to me on more than one occasion that many of the children of many of the places that they visit seems drawn to him more than the other members of the team." "Possible because he is the youngest member of the team. Perhaps because he seems the least threatening."

The General raises one finger to politely interrupt, and asks "even less threatening than Major Carter?"

The sergeant replies "well sir, she has a larger fire arm than Dr. Jackson does."

"Granted," the general replies.

Walter continues "So, the Doctor Had to find a way to continue his work, while not alienating the local children and their parents in the process."

The General quickly glances at a picture of his Grand Daughters Tessa & Kayla.

Unconsciously, he tenses every muscle in his body. Opens his eyes wide in mild shock and ask the sergeant "you mean to tell me that Dr. Jackson means to get these kids "hoped-up" on chocolate and caffeine. Then send on their way with these toys, to work off all that extra energy so that they leave him alone to get his work done?"

The sergeant. replies "No, _**NO SIR**_!"

"Remember sir, we are to read the reasons in reverse order." "The Reason for these toys

are to keep the local children busy, while the Doctor does his job." He tells his General.

Walter continues, "Doctor Jackson told me the reason he chose _these_ toys is because, they do not need instructions." "There is no need for him or anyone to teach the children how to use them." "He just hands them out as gifts, and the kids take it from there. Literally."

"Giving him time to continue his work. No angry kids. No angry parents."

"OK. That sounds more like the Dr. Jackson that I've come to know." "Great planning and foresight on his part so far."

"And the rest of the list." The General ask.

"The instant coffee is for him." "Just in case whatever mission they are currently on becomes extended." "Caffeine withdrawal gives him bad headaches."

"OK, makes sense."

"But the last or first thing (depending on how you read it) on the list?"

The General ask. "The chocolate?"

"Yes" the sergeant replies "all humans seem to love chocolate."

"Yes I know what it says Walther." "But what does that have to do with…wait a minute."

"Their very first mission, to Abbydos. Dr. Jackson gave his future father-in-law

A chocolate bar."

"The Col made mention of that in his mission report that as soon as Kussef tasted the chocolate bar, they were invited into the village."

The General also silently recalls certain parts of that same report that the Col. left out. namely the parts about Dr. Jackson still being alive.

"He probable gives them out on every world they go to." "To break the ice." The General utters, almost to himself.

"All humans seem to love chocolate." The General repeats as he smiles to him self.

"Sir, there is one thing that I don't understand about this request, Why _non-dairy chocolate preferred_?" The Sgt. asks.

"Ah. I think I know the answer to that one Walter."

"One day me and Dr. Jackson were having a little discussion about various explorations and cross cultural contacts in earth history." "And, how some first contacts had gone wrong." "Vary wrong!"

The General tells the sergeant about Viking settlers in Greenland. Their first contact with the Inuit people in the area went OK, at first. The Vikings traded with the Inuits. Among the goods the Vikings traded with the locals was a large quantity of Cows milk.

"The Inuits took the milk back to their settlement, and shared it with everyone that lived there." "They enjoyed the taste." "However, most of them became violently ill"

"They thought that the Vikings had poisoned them." "They mounted a massive attack on the Viking settlement in retaliation."

"From that day on, relations were strained between the two groups."

"As it turns out, this was one of the few times in history that the Vikings were innocent." "They did not poison the Inuits." "Most scientists and historians believe that the Inuits suffered from Lactose Intolerance."

"They never raised cows, nor drank cow's milk before." "So, their bodies were not capable of digesting any dairy products."

"They did not possess the necessary Enzymes." "The result was the violently painful stomach aches, which they thought was poisoning."

Sergeant Walter Harriman looks at his commanding officer and declares, "Really! I never knew that sir."

The General continues. "Constant warfare with the locals was one of several reasons the Vikings could not make a going concern of the Greenland Colony."

"Dr. Jackson was just making sure that he did not repeat bad Earth history." "He must have thought that non-dairy chocolate would be easier to digest."

"It's good information to know when you're the commander of a base

with a Stargate on it."

"Knowledge, courtesy of the History Channel" the General says. "It's the main reason that I watch any television at all.

"Other than the Disney Channel with my Grand Daughters and the Sci-Fi Channel, when something _really good_ is on." "The History Channel is the only TV that I watch." The General says.

Sergeant Harriman asks the General "If I may ask sir, what do you watch on the Sci-Fi Channel?"

The General looks at his sergeant with mild surprise and answers "the same program that you do sergeant."

"Oh, course sir." "How could I forget?" The sergeant replies slightly embarrassed.

"OK, Dr. Jackson's _special request_ is approved!" The General says.

"I'll make you a deal Walter." "You help me with last special requests for the remaining members of SG-1, and I handle the rest on my own."

"Yes Sir." The sargent replies.

**End of chapter one.**

TO BE CONTINUED…

_**Love it? Hated it? Please let me know…**_

_**I do not have currently have a Beta reader. So if you find a missing or misplaced word or two, please let me know.**_

_**Thanks…for not laughing**_

_**PS.. If you would like to beta for STARGATE stories or know some one who would, please… contact me**_


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